Today's Five Minute Friday prompt, from Lisa Jo Baker, is "Present."
When I saw the prompt for this week, I threw my hands up in defeat. Present. How do I write in five minutes about the theme that is defining my summer, indeed my life? I think I mentioned before that Ladybug is teaching me, day by day, to live in the present. To relish each small milestone and delight in the basic business of Being (with a capital B).
Well. I’m not what one might call a fast learner. A while ago I learned that Bug is soon going to need me in a whole new capacity - a somewhat intimidating medical capacity. This news fell fast on the heels of a dramatic saga of enrolling-no-not-enrolling-okay-yes-enrolling-wait-I-can’t-afford-grad-school. The appropriate anxiety-sanctioned response to all this was Panic (with a capital P).
Over the past couple weeks, I have had to forcibly wrestle that panic back to the depths. I am struggling so hard to strike a balance, philosophically, between present and future. I want to be here. I want to give and receive, to grow and delight in my present. To know that it is okay to invest in small things, REAL things, more than dreams. At the same time, I don't know if it is healthy or responsible not to have a "plan."
Which is more cowardly: to push away the future or to use it as a replacement for the present?